I was thinking about Xander's heart status within the group again the other day, and his famous line of motivational speeches. They're used for a much more varied and wide-ranging selection of purposes than Buffy's militaristic speeches to the proto-Slayers this Season, going from saving an apocalypse to reassurance of inner strength. It's interesting that (at least in my memory), Xander's most heartfelt understanding words are always given to females. I think it is almost possible to dismiss this due to the specifics of the situation, but perhaps not quite. Giles is always the mentor, and, at least for the first few seasons) has a very low regard for Xander, ('why would they make you see me?' in Becoming). Oz tends to be stoic enough to resist moments of crisis- and Xander is too busy being judgmental or jealous about Spike and Angel to offer them any serious words of comfort.

Xander is also a consequence of the original subversion of the show. Buffy is the strong female heroine, who is both physically strong and has emotional understanding. As the show develops, Willow's intellect and burgeoning self-confidence transform her into a powerful rich. Xander, the terminal demon-magnet, falls in love with the knowledgeable and savvy ex-vengeance demon. All three of these characters are portrayed as strong, but also often action-oriented. As a result of this, the space of emotional reasoning coupled with physical weakness, the traditionally feminine territory, is left to Xander.

The heart is not always a plus-point. He is impulsive, and often acts on personal grudges and black-and-white attitudes, (The Lie in 'Becoming', as raised in 'Selfless'). He sometimes sees ulterior motives when they are not there, (Spike in 'Forever', genuinely laying flowers for Joyce, someone who enjoyed his company). Most often, however, Xander's intolerances and misjudgments arise from misguided love. In 'Becoming', Xander wants Buffy to be happy, but wrongly believes he has the authority to decide how best that would happen. Similarly, in 'Forever', Xander does not want a fragile Buffy hurt, and genuinely but wrongly believes Spike to be angling only for Buffy's love. Recently, though, we have started to see the other side of the coin. In 'Him', Xander puts his pre-conceptions about Spike aside, and purely out of trust and respect for Buffy, lives with him, to the point where they work as a successful team in finding out about the jacket. 'Potential' has barely left anyone unmoved, and in six months time, or however long it is I must wait to see it, I'm sure I'll be crying once again, (it really doesn't take much- trust me). So for the sake of me having nothing to do and wanting to be uplifted, I thought I'd search for Xander's finest moments to other people. Of course, an episode like 'The Zeppo', which is about his own personal empowerment, has some excellent moments too. But here I'm trying to compare fruit with fruit, and so have these four contenders from Seasons 4-7:

Season Four- Buffy in 'The Freshman'

[All quotes courtesy of Psyche]:

BUFFY
It's just... it's this vampire. She took me down, and I'm not sure how to stop her.
XANDER
Then where's the gang? Avengers assemble, let's get it going.
BUFFY
I don't want to bug them... just starting school, they don't need this...
XANDER
Okay, Buff. What's the what here.
BUFFY
I don't know, I just... what if I can't cut it.
XANDER
Can't cut what? Slaying?
BUFFY
Slaying... everything.
XANDER
Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger... no wait... Fear leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side... hold on... Hate... no First you get the women, then you get the money, then you get... okay forget that.
BUFFY
Well, thanks for the dada-ist pep talk. I feel much more abstract.
XANDER
The point is, you're Buffy!
BUFFY
Yeah, sure, in high school I was Buffy...
XANDER
And what, in college you're Betty Louise?
BUFFY
Yes, I'm Betty Louise Plotnik of Blue Falls Missouri. Or I might as well be.
XANDER
Buffy, I've been through some fairly dark times in my life. Faced some scary things, among them the kitchen of the fabulous "Ladies Night" club. Let me tell you something. When it's dark and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaking out or whatever, I always think, "What would Buffy do?"
(beat)
You're my hero.
Buffy soaks this in, looks at him.
XANDER (cont'd)
Okay, sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone I think, "What is Buffy wearing?"
BUFFY
Can that be one of those things you never ever tell me about?
XANDER
It's a deal.
He stands, all momentum.
XANDER (cont'd)
Let's put this bitch in the ground, what do you say?
BUFFY
I think I say thank you.
XANDER
And nothing says "thank you" like dollars in the waistband. Okay. What do we do first?

Lets get something straight from the outset here. I love all four of these speeches. There is nothing more powerful than somebody speaking emotionally without any restraint of what it is appropriate to say or what is expected. Here Xander takes that step. He tells Buffy something which she has never, despite all her heroics, been told. From Xander, it is entirely true. Buffy and Xander have the eternal brother-sister relationship from early in Season Two. Sometimes Buffy is the big sister. Sometimes Xander is the big brother. Here, both are true. Xander is the one who allows Buffy to believe in herself again. I have been through the experience of starting University in the last two years, and it is deeply disconcerting. All the things you consider you know about yourself- and even all the things that you consider yourself good at, are called into question. Suddenly there's 20 better mathematicians and 4 more beautiful clarinetists and your housemate can do the crossword in half the time you can. The things that defined you as special are swept away. Except that, truthfully, they're not at all. There are few people who can claim to be the best in the world at something. For the rest of us, it's the combination of skills, talents and experiences that makes us special.

Here, Buffy is facing diffidence even from the people she thought she could always turn to- Joyce and Giles. The one thing that she IS best at, that defines her, appears to be ripped from her as she sees someone as feminine, as pretty and yet better at fighting. She is going through the classic experience of the beginning of University, and Sunday is just another part of that. The person who is slightly better at everything you can do. The impostor. Of course, part of the reason the impostor IS better than you is that she's the one with the self-confidence. You let her win because your sense of disorientation robs you of the self-assurance you had at home.

In this speech, Xander is genuinely emotionally honest. But he's also Xander. The long section where he is trying to work out just what leads to what is endearingly awkward. It's not a perfectly cadenced, wonderfully polished Winston Churchill speech, [there's no Henley for one thing]. But Xander's speech is spoken from such a deep and heartfelt place that it doesn't matter. Buffy is special- but here we are not seeing a superhero with a tiny problem. We're seeing a vulnerable young woman on the cusp of adulthood, beginning the journey, as Manwitch has contended, into the spiritual life. Xander's influence is so important and so great, that it may not be a stretch to say that the people leaving messages in their campus flats really could be Buffy without his influence.

Of course, as the show is All About Buffy, this is perhaps the Xander speech which feels most central and important to the Hero's journey, and thus the plot's development. But perhaps there are other contenders...

Season Five- Anya, 'Into the Woods'

Xander comes through the front door, already talking as he moves toward Anya - who stands, sleepy in her PJ's at the other end of the room. His manner is urgent and heartfelt-

XANDER
I need to say something to you. I should have said it a long time ago. I mean, you may not even know... I love you, Anya, more every day. I love the way you see things. I love the way you work a cash register and how beautiful you are - and how amazingly sweet and crazy you can be at the same time...
He's at her side now, and she's crying joyful tears. He takes her face in his hands...
XANDER
I can't imagine my days without you - and I wouldn't want to.
...and kisses her deeply. It grows quickly passionate and loving.

This is perhaps the least immediately obvious of the four. Here the situation is somewhat different to the other three. Xander's speech here is something that is actually more of a reaction to a plot twist than a catalyst for a later one. Xander has seen how Buffy's mistake in not making things between herself and Riley clearer earlier has slowly torn the relationship apart. It is worth remembering that Xander is told by Riley as early as 'The Replacement', that '[Buffy] doesn't love me'. Whether he truly believes this is true of Buffy, or whether he sees it as symptomatic of the lack of understanding between the two of them is moot, but certainly he has seen the relationship decay slowly, insidiously and almost imperceptibly. He is deeply worried that the same thing could happen with him and Anya.

Unlike the other three speeches- this is a romantic one. It's about what Anya and Xander have together as a couple. But it stays as fundamentally on the same line as the rest of Xander's words in that he is talking about the other person's qualities. It's Anya who is amazingly sweet, and who has transformed his life. This is also a transformative moment for the audience, (if I can be that pompously general). Up until now, Xander and Anya's relationship has been a funny one, and one seemingly based on sex and little else. The relationship is ever developing, but it's here that we really see Xander realizing what he has in his relationship. It makes the proposal in 'The Gift', and the superlative song 'I'll Never Tell', (my favorite of 'Once More, With Feeling') a believable organic growth. Here, Anya is made comfortable and able to value herself, just as Buffy is in 'The Freshman'. It's less important to the series as a whole- Xander and Anya's happiness plays in parallel to the main story- of Buffy losing Riley. For this reason, from the series' point of view, I like a little less. If this series was All About Xander, however, and this scene was the climax of the episode, rather than the counterpoint, the story might be different.

Season Six- Willow 'Grave'

XANDER, on the ground, stirs, holding his chest, as he's no-doubt cracked a couple of ribs.
But he rises, breaking the connection between Willow and the effigy once again.
WILLOW
You can't stop this.
XANDER
Yeah, I get that. It's just - where else am I going to go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end - where else would I want to be?
WILLOW
Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?
XANDER
Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony.
WILLOW
Still making jokes.
XANDER
I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still want to hang. You're Willow.
WILLOW
Don't call me th-
XANDER
First day of kindergarten you cried 'cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion but the thing is, yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. You wanna kill the world you start with me. I've earned that.
WILLOW
You think I won't?
XANDER
It doesn't matter. I'll still love you.
This makes Willow furious.
WILLOW
Shut up.
WILLOW makes a slashing motion in the air.
XANDER stops as THREE LARGE CUTS open on his face, as if he scratched them there. He winces, touches the blood on his face and looks at it. Then, at her.
XANDER
I love you.
She slashes at him again.
XANDER's shirt tears at the shoulder as larger, deeper wounds appear. He almost doubles over from the pain. But, again, he looks at her.
XANDER (cont'd)
I love--
She BLASTS him with a bolt of ENERGY, knocking him down.
She looks at him, her face etched with sorrow.
ON XANDER, as he picks himself up. He catches his breath, stares up at her again. Then begins to stagger toward her.
XANDER (cont'd)
(through the pain)
I... love you.
WILLOW
Shut up.
She BLASTS him again. He GRUNTS at the impact, but this time, he doesn't go down. As if her assault has lost some of its strength.
XANDER
I love you, Willow.
WILLOW
(tears starting to flow)
Stop...
She sends another BLAST, but he barely registers it when it hits him. He keeps coming.
XANDER
I love you.
He reaches her and she starts to hit him, with her fists, shaking her head. He withstands her blows, but on his injured body, they do inflict pain.
Willow falls to her knees, sobbing. Her hands over her eyes, her black hair suddenly MORPHS back to its normal red. Xander gently puts a hand on her shoulder.
XANDER (cont'd)
(softly)
I love you.
ON THE EFFIGY - AS THE GLOW burns out, a flame extinguished.

This is the most obviously brave of the four speeches. As in 'The Zeppo', Xander puts his life on the line to save the world, and, for him just as importantly, to save Willow, the best friend he has ever had. It means more to Xander here than the pain. It doesn't really matter whether he is someone who understands Willow's journey. Whether he can ever comprehend just how she's gone from being the shy girl who is deeply scared of the consequences of her actions to the assertive anarchist who is being apocalyptically evil. It is a neat irony, (and just how many of these do ME cram into each episode? I never stop noticing them), that Willow wants to end the pretext of the pain and suffering of people. Xander saves Willow and the world by showing that the one thing more powerful than pain and suffering is love. Willow tries to show Xander just why the world should not be saved. The pain she inflicts is her analogue to the struggle and suffering that billions of people go through, like Buffy heard in 'Earshot'. But Xander knows why they do. 'Grave' echoes 'The Gift', but in a much more positive way. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and all the major characters are able to, thanks to the events of the episode, and with renewed wonder and fear.

The speech itself is once again a speech that is not clever or polished or full of elegant language. It has the Xander quip in dire circumstances of the cartoon anvil. But it has possibly the most powerful thing anybody can be told repeated seven times. As Ian McEwan stated in the aftermath of 11th September, it is a phrase 'that no amount of bad art or bad literature can ever quite cheapen'. Because it's about valuing someone else, and in doing so, valuing life as a precious and beautiful thing. It's about the idea that congress contains shards of beauty which make live worth living through the pain. Ultimately, Willow represents an attempt to become powerful and happy through violence and confrontation. Xander represents an attempt to feel powerful and happy through diplomacy and interaction.

Xander's victory is a victory for life, and for love. And his victory, in this case, saves the world. This undoubtedly makes it more important on a surface level than any of the other words he ever utters. But once again, this particular speech is only part of the jigsaw, with Dawn simultaneously re-initiating Buffy's desire to enjoy life. I cried at this one as I usually do at these things, but I think I personally still prefer 'The Freshman'. Which leaves us with...

Season Seven- Dawn 'Potential'

Dawn watches them go, then crosses to the table. Opening a book, she realizes Xander is standing behind her. Turns.
DAWN
What's up?
XANDER
Ah, I was just thinking about the girls. That's a harsh gig, being a Potential. Just picked out of a crowd, danger and destiny plus if you act now, death.
DAWN
(sincerely)
They can handle it.
XANDER
Well, they're special. No doubt.
(sitting)
And the amazing thing is, not one of them will ever know. Not even Buffy.
DAWN
Know what?
XANDER
How much harder it is for the rest of us.
She feels it, but she's still brave-face gal...
DAWN
No way, they've got the --
XANDER
Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer, watching my friends become more and more powerful... a witch, a demon, hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit but come the full moon he had wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful, all of them. And I'm the guy fixing the windows.
He stands, looking at the windows as he says it.
DAWN
You had that sexy army training for a little while, and, and the windows really do need --
XANDER
(not turning around)
I saw what you did last night.
She's busted.
DAWN
I guess I sorta lost my head when I thought I was a Slayer.
He turns to her again.
XANDER
Thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale, 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't, you handed the crown over to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power.
DAWN
Power wasn't mine.
XANDER
They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen; to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes, 'cause nobody's watching me. I saw you last night, I see you working here today... You're not special. You're extraordinary.
She's shyly welling up. He goes to her and kisses her on the forehead, heads out toward the front. She stops him.
DAWN
Maybe that's your power.
XANDER
What?
DAWN
Seeing. Knowing.
XANDER
Maybe it is.
(quietly jesting)
Maybe I should get a cape.
DAWN
Cape is good.
XANDER
Yeah.
Their smiles are as sad as they are strong. He exits, leaving Dawn to think a moment, then to start her work again.

I don't want to write too much about this, because, hey, I haven't even seen it yet. But it tears me up just reading it, I'm afraid to say. So beautiful, and such a wonderful counterpoint to the 'Grave' speech above. In 'Grave', Xander and Dawn are in parallel. Xander saves Willow from herself, in allowing her to see the transformative power of love. Dawn saves Buffy from a season-long diffidence, by allowing her to see hope, growth and beauty. This is not to be seen as a co-incidence, as here they are paralleled again. In 'Grave', Dawn and Xander are the ordinary people who save. In 'Potential', they are ordinary people being largely ignored. But Xander knows how important he is, and how important Dawn is. Xander IS extraordinary. He saved a messianic figure from death, and thus the world from The Master in 'Prophecy Girl'. He saved the school from destruction in 'The Zeppo', and was happy for it to take backseat to the melodrama of another apocalypse for Buffy. And in the same way, Dawn IS extraordinary. She saves Buffy from merely 'going through the motions' several times, from her suicidal tendencies in 'Bargaining' right through to 'Grave'. And in 'Potential', she is able to do what many of this and last century's world leaders have found it impossible to do- relinquish power when they realize the true power is somewhere else. And to continue making a difference without needing to take credit.

Here, Xander's speech is probably the most obviously written of the four. The 'You're not special- you're extraordinary' line is a wonderful piece of prose. But it is once again the sentiment which holds the real power. And for me, because Xander understands viscerally Dawn's situation, and just exactly how she is feeling, it may well topple 'The Freshman' as my personal favorite. I'll just have to wait and see.

Well, that's certainly uplifted me considerably. Just reading the lines is enough. I'd be interested to here other people's favorites.

TCH