Hello everyone.

OK, that title wasn't entirely serious. Or maybe it was. You be the judge. No amount of trawling through the archives will allow you to find me prefering Angel or Spike, for personal and analytic reasons. It was not my bag. And 'Peace Out' may explain a little bit as to why.

4.21- 'Peace Out'

There is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now; yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no man of aught he leaves know, what is ' t to leave betimes? Let be.

Hamlet V:ii;217-222, taking ideas from Matthew's Gospel. I'm very Gospel-y at the moment.

The abiding memory of this episode for me was the apparently powerless, and indeed power-reduced Jasmine after she has been sapped by the sound of her name, the word that bears all power in understanding her, and strips away the false-ness. Now we can see exactly why the preying-mantis type creature was worried about bandying about names in the previous episode- the name of Jasmine makes a world-bending difference when it is uttered. And from being entirely convinced of the wrong she represents, I find myself in the middle of a desperate woman, trying to explain. How Angel bit that apple that cast the world out of paradise, and ate of the Tree of Knowledge for everyone. In this version, the God who denies free will is female, the encouraging serpent, (Fred), also female, and the 'weak' person who gave into temptation the male Angel. How much better a light does this episode cast on Eve, looking at this incident in this light? In any case, when Jasmine is released of her power- looking instead ugly and maggot-ridden, we are given a moment or two of sympathy for Jasmine. And it is well-acted, and it hurts. For Jasmine did believe in her plan, and cannot understand Angel's thoughts. Suddenly, through super charismatic acting, we are in Jasmine's boots.

Or are we in Angel's? Or Connor's?

In this episode, Connor has such a very long speech that it is almost obviously extraordinarily special. Such lengthy soliloquies are usually reserved for Big Bads and Lead characters. But not this time. For Connor finally understands about Jasmine and about his own psyche. They were all lies. "I guess I thought this one was better than the others." It's a painful realisation- the final and ultimate separation from parent infallibility. This one is even harder to bear, for Jasmine had a greater hold and a greater purpose and a sharper understanding and less punishment, (literally form Holtz, supposedly from Angel), then any other live figure. Except perhaps Cordelia. Lying there, unconscious, having given sacrifice, we have Connor confused as to whether Cordelia gave her life willingly. Whether she had free choice. And when we realise that it matters that she does, regardless whether she did or not, we reach a crux point of the Season. It's not important how much of Cordelia was in the pregnant lady from 'Apocalypse, Nowish', onwards. What matters is that her will was no longer free- she was being manipulated by an inner force- an outer devil- something she could not escape. And so Cordelia, the ultimate mystery, the confused motive, the twists that launched a thousand grasping despairing searching posts on Voy alone, is shown to be symptomatic of the problem of the season- the randomness and pain when free will is taken away. Here, for me, is a resolution to Cordelia's story line of the past Season. What happens or otherwise in 'Home' is a bonus.

So when we realise this, we realise that there's this shadow of a thought hovering bat-like in Connor's mind. We had bats in our bedroom this week- very exciting and scary and wonderful. We removed them gently. How beautiful that they could find their way in here- and that we could help them back outside, to perhaps fall like the sparrow, or to swoop like the eagle, or perhaps to live to compose an 80's rock ballad with the above bird imagery gruesomely intact. Here's the Hamlet quote. There's a resignation, coming to the idea of 'The readiness is all'. Also, an idea of fate- but a view that we can't control it not dissimilar to Gunn's a few episodes ago. Free will will out, and Connor learns the hardest lesson yet. Through the torment of childhood, (Quortoth), adn the mad adolescence, ('A New World', father issues, a sexual awakening, reblling) he is now nearly ready to become adult- and to do this he must kill Jasmine. He does so, the last to do so.

Connor is the adolescent finding death oddly beautiful, like Owen in 'Never Kill a Boy on the First Date', or so many other teenager's bleak poetry. Thus he can cope as much with Jasmine's nutritional quirks as with the visage of maggots. He is a believer despite appearances, and thus his loss of faith, in parallel with the people under thrall, is Jasmine's greatest loss. This is summed up in that final scene. The others may have turned to hate for her, but she is still powerful. It takes the ultimate Judas, the real believer who turns coat, to defeat her, and that's Connor. So I've compared Connor and Angel to Judas and Eve, and I was attempting compliments. It must be almost midnight.

Other thoughts before the punch-line:

-I could have done without the cliche not-quite-death of Wesley at Connor's hands. I've seen it too many times before.

-"You can take away her power, but you've already lost everything" taunts the guardian to Angel. Not true, for, as is later explained, he is still fighting for Connor. So when he re-appears at the Hyperion, a gaping wound around his heart, we see the pain. He's saved the world and allowed choice, only for Connor's free wil still to be to run away from him as a Father- to mistrsut. That has to sting.

-'To serve man is a cookbook'. Here we go again. Isn't anyone going to mention 'The Silver Chair'? I don't suppose that's quite AI's general reading.

-'God is nowhere. Jasmine is the way.' A shout out to 'Miracles' but also ironic about the real Church, with Jasmine as Christ and some other stuff as God? Maybe too much of a stretch.

-'I just want a rest', Connor finishes, and we are reminded, in this Catholic Church, and as Connor almost accidentally pleads 'God, give me a rest', of Spike, burning on that cross in the incredible end to 'Beneath You'.

-And, gah! Lilah's re-entry is all Giles in 'Two to Go', as in marvellous and smouldering and just so enigmatic. Not Wesley's illusion, as the others saw her. I'm so excited about 'Home' I can barely stop squealing. Minear has a lot to live up to!

So I've mentioned Spike, I've mentioned Angel, who is the better? Well, in Idol fashion I can officially anounce my answer...

You remember I could sympathise with Jasmine, and with Angel and with Connor? Well that's the answer. These flame wars are interesting, because there are two different factions, and each have a point. And all the imaginary but not real musket fire and plenty of singing of 'Soldier, Soldier, won't you marry me?' going on in my version at least- [another Voy attraction, make your own soundtrack]. But the fun of literature, is that we aren't living the people's lives. We are not only in one point of view, as shadowkat has shown beautifully time and again. So with the Angelverse and the Buffyverse. We switch, we trade empathies, we braid like a bored string merchant, tangling our threads together to make beauty. It's not only crafted by the writers and actors, but by the viewers' responses. We complete the picture and colour in the outline how we will.

And so I'm suddenly frightened wrecked Jasmine, or confused, deflated Connor, or heartless, trying, right Angel. Or Spike. They don't negate each other- but even more, we don't have to choose. It's a role play where you can be every character! Endless fun for the price of Nike adverts. Virtual paradise- ohne free will restriction. I don't prefer Angel or Spike. I've tried to decide personally, just for fun, but couldn't. Both good actors, great characters. It's not my path, any more than it is to write 'Home', to restrict my writing to certain subjects, my wants to certain characters. I shall write where I'm led in the dance of the tangled threads. If the colours of my threads are reduced by missing posters, I'm sadder- a vibrancy unique is lost. So I want to read about Spike and Angel, but also Xander, Willow, Dawn, Buffy, Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Anya, Giles and Lorne. And I want to read posts by lunasea, dub and Rufus. Perhaps this is too greedy of me. But the points of view on the board can be as varied as the points of view of characters on an episode of 'Angel'- as many points of view as posters, and I want to read everyone writing what they want.

And even if I don't I can go and watch England win at cricket again.

'Peace Out' tells us about pain, choice, free will and thus life. It's a good episode by David Fury, but not a great one, because the dots need joining and there are moments that are too slow. It's not the Best Episode Ever, but it is certainly no slouch- it holds its own in a good Season.

And just 'Home' to come.

TCH- just about on track after 'Miles to go' a few paragraphs out there.